Jesús is a Jerk

This is Jesús, not Jesus!!!

Please stop writing me hate mail about this site!!!!!

I made this site back in 2006 because my marriage was in the s**tter and I had significant evidence that my wife was doing the wild monkey with the guy who did our yard work, Jesús. The idea was to get Jesús' face all over the Internet to ruin his gardening business and invite people to punch the a**hat in the face on sight.

Shortly after that, I started getting hate mail from Christians who thought I was saying bad things about Jesus. Did they even read the site? Can't they tell the difference between the names "Jesus" and "Jesús"? Is it really that difficult??? Apparently it is.

These boneheads filled my inbox to overflowing until I finally replaced the home page with a plea for the assault to stop. My quest to get back at Jesús went out the window, but apparently nobody cared that I had a bigger fish to fry. I'm divorced now, Jesús got hit by a car, and it turns out that the whole thing was a misunderstanding brought on by the fact that Jesús really was a jerk. You can read The Whole Story if you want.

Here are the main points of what I'm saying in a nutshell:

• Jesús and Jesus are two different people.
• I was mad at Jesús because it looked like he was going above and beyond the call of duty with my wife.
• I'm not mad at your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who, if he exists, I'm sure is a nice guy that would never bone another guy's wife.
• Even though Jesús wasn't doing the nasty on my property, I still wouldn't cry if the Romans crucified him.

We all clear now?